Blast from the Past

GC Records put out a 12th Anniversary compilation CD with an As I song from 10 years ago! (Has it really been that long?) Anyway, it's always fun to hear my punk rock singing husband and I especially like this song as my friend Sarah sings on it as well. Check it out!

The Aquarium

Last week, on the anniversary of Grayson's passing, we decided to take the day off. I wanted to spend the day with my boys. After visiting Grayson, we took Carter to the aquarium. I haven't been to the aquarium in years and I just have to say that as a new mom, I found it extremely kid-friendly, which was a definite plus. The bathrooms even have nursing areas and a lounge for kids to play and relax and they even have pull out stepping stools so that kids can reach the sink to wash their hands. They have a new outdoor area with lots of hands-on activities and a parrot enclosure that you can walk through (I nearly had a heart attack but Carter was fascinated.)

My favorite--can you spot the sea dragon?

After the aquarium, we went to Bubba Gump for lunch. I had the best shrimp tacos of my life (no joke) and Carter loved our very funny waiter. They quiz you on Forrest Gump trivia and Dave and I got every question correct! Our prize was unlimited access to the condiments on the table. :)

It was nice to devote an entire day to my boys. I highly recommend the Long Beach Aquarium to anyone. I hope we can go back again soon!

Walking. . . sort of!

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas. . .

Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year. I can think of nothing better than decorating the house and tree while sipping a steaming cup of hot chocolate (with mini marshmallows and a candy cane, of course), while listening to Bing croon "Snow, Snow, Snow!" as "White Christmas" (the movie) plays in the background. Oh, and did I mention my obsession with Christmas pajamas? Growing up with Harmony and our moms, this was something we did every year with great excitement. (Still trying to get Dave in the decorating spirit... going on 12 Christmas seasons now together and have yet to be successful!)

Last Christmas season was the worst of my life. Grayson had just died and Carter was still in the hospital. I literally have no words to describe my devastation as I sat in the NICU and thought... this is my child's first Christmas. No presents, no tree, no music, no Christmas pajamas. I checked out of Christmas last year... didn't buy a single present or put up any decorations. However, now that a year has passed, the holiday spirit is returning. Not with the same fervor--I still don't have a house to decorate... but hopefully soon. My sweet aunt sent me a CD of fabulous Christmas songs that Carter and I have been listening to in the car everywhere we go. Carter now has 5 pairs of Christmas pajamas and I am looking forward to spending an entire day next week devoted to some serious holiday baking. Since I didn't post anything from last Christmas, I thought I'd share two of my favorite pictures of Carter's first Christmas:

This year, our festivities started early with a trip to Heritage Hill Historical Park to visit Santa during their Victorian Christmas. I have so many postive things to say about this event. They had Christmas carolers and tons of food and handmade goodies for sale, a really awesome puppet show, hand-churned butter and ice cream, Mrs. Claus telling stories, and possibly the most authentic looking Santa I have ever seen. (And we waited in line for less than a minute to see Santa!) Unlike most babies who seem to be afraid of Santa, Carter was fascinated. I think it was the beard that drew him in. He would have happily sat on Santa's lap all day and stared into his eyes. It was pretty darn cute.

Carter with his Auntie Harmony:

And last but not least... Christmas pajamas!



It's been a year...

Dear Grayson,

A year ago today, I said goodbye. Your daddy and I held your hand while you were so brave and fought so hard to stay with us. Your body was just too tiny to fight the infection. The doctors unhooked you from the machines and stopped CPR. They wrapped you in a blanket and handed you to me. As horrible as that moment was, it remains a treasure in my heart--it was the first time I could see your sweet face without the oxygen tube and it was the first time I could hold you wrapped in a blanket in silence... no machines buzzing and alarming. Your body was at peace. That day, many family members and friends rushed over so they could see you and hold you and kiss you one last time. Your Uncle Brandon said a prayer. Daddy and I gave you a bath and dressed you in new clothes. We took lots of pictures that remain on a camera that I haven't been able to develop. Maybe someday soon...

Everyone has told me that it will feel better in a year. Maybe I am not a normal grieving mommy but I don't feel better. My heart is still broken and a piece of me is gone. This morning I opened your memory box. I played with your soft lock of hair and I snuggled in bed with your blanket and your knitted hat that you used to wear every day. It's as close as I can get to you now.

Daddy and Carter and I went to visit you today. We decorated your grave for Christmas. It looks very festive. I think this may become a tradition and somehow that is comforting to me.

I love you Grayson. I want to hate this day but I can't. This is a day for me to remember you and that makes my heart smile.

Fall Photo Shoot

Took me forever to post these, but we had a wonderful time at our photo shoot with Kira! She is one amazing photographer (and a great friend!). Check her out at http://www.kiragrinberg.com/.

Here are some of my favorites:

Successful Baby Food Recipe of the Day!

For any moms out there looking for a simple and easy baby food recipe--I have found the secret! (At least for my picky eater.) Pastina! These are the super tiny cute little star shaped pastas usually found in soups. Takes 6 minutes to boil on the stove. I added shredded cheese and voila! Mac and cheese that Carter scarfed down. Then, I mixed in carrots and peas... and Carter gobbled it up. I don't know if he likes the texture or what but I am now dreaming of adding these little star shaped friends into every meal. I think I will try a veggie soup and see what he thinks.

Random Cuteness

Have I mentioned how much I love this boy? He is active, silly, wild, and crazy and he keeps me smiling all day long. Yesterday he took four steps on his own! He is very determined and I love his fearless spirit. Here are some random acts of cuteness from last month: