Saturday, December 17, 2011

Two Years

Dear Grayson,
Two years ago we said goodbye. I think about you every day. We have a big picture of you on the wall in our new house and every time Carter goes up and down the stairs we ask him, "Who is that?" and he says, "Grayson!" I love that he can recognize your face but my heart breaks knowing that he will never remember you. Today we decorated your grave for Christmas. Your daddy held Carter in his arms and we both wondered what life would be like if you were still here. I wonder if Carter would be a different person somehow if he had you in his daily life. I wonder what you would look like at 2 years old. Your little brother Archer is one month old now. Sometimes he makes faces that look just like you. He has that sweet little crease under his lower lip that you have too. Today I realized that Archer is now older than you will ever be. But remember, he is still your little brother. I love you Grayson, more and more each day. Having another baby brought back a lot of memories of you and it has been hard on me lately. It's almost Christmastime but somehow the month of December just isn't the same. I still feel like a piece of me is gone at this time each year. But don't worry--I know you are still with me. I know I will always and forever be your mommy.


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