Happy Birthday Dave!

So tomorrow is Dave's 30th birthday. I keep teasing him by telling Carter that his daddy is an old man! I can't believe Dave was 18 years old when we started dating... we sure have come a long way! He is a wonderful husband and an excellent father. Carter loves spending time with him and I love to see their special father-son bond. It melts my heart to see them together... especially since Carter looks so much like Dave that I sometimes call him "Little Davey." I am so very proud of my husband. He manages to always stay relaxed and laid back and reminds me to find the humor in every situation, like when Carter decides to poop on me during a middle of the night diaper change! To Dave: I am more in love with you every day and I am SO looking forward to our date night tomorrow night! (Carter gets to hang out with his grandparents.)

A recap of the week--well, this week was a bit stressful for me. I have been overly emotional (I blame it on lack of sleep and crazy hormones). I realized that I have only been giving Carter 1/10th of his vitamin dosage because I apparently cannot read the numbers on a syringe (I was giving him .1 instead of 1.0). His vitamins are important because of his anemia so of course I felt absolutely terrible. The bright side of this was I confessed my error to the pediatrician who said it was no big deal, especially since Carter's hemoglobin test came back just fine. So whew! No harm done! Carter is doing amazingly well. He is already 6 lbs and is getting chunky! He has a big double chin now which we absolutely love. I was looking at pictures of him on his birthday and his tiny little 2 pound body sure has changed! He truly is a miracle and I just can't get enough of him. He is so fun to snuggle with... he just curls up in my arms with a peaceful smile. Ahhhh I just adore him!

Jackie's friend Sarah is a photographer and she came to our house last weekend and took pictures of Carter. It was so much fun and the pictures are amazing. Sarah is very talented, patient, and sweet. It was a wonderful experience! Here are a few of the pics:

Fun Times With Carter

Carter is doing great. He is gaining about an ounce a day, which will put him at 6 lbs by this weekend. He is getting used to a routine which is very helpful for me. He is also doing better at night due to a few magical tricks we have discovered. Carter tends to sleep all the time, especially during the day. But, he LOVES when we give him a bath and tends to stay awake for a few hours afterwards. So if we give him a bath in the early evening, he will wear himself out and then sleeps much better in his crib at night. Also, if we heat up his blanket in the dryer, it works like magic! As soon as I wrap him, he is out!

Carter's favorite thing to do with me is cuddle!

But his favorite thing to do with Dave is play and be silly!

FLOOD!

I came downstairs this morning to a completely flooded bathroom and kitchen. The water is coming up through the toilet, only it's not a toilet issue... I guess it is a blockage in the sewer line. UGH. We are waiting for someone from the city department to come help us. Here is a picture of our bathroom... there is approximately 2 inches of water on the floor as of now. Dave wanted to find a toy boat to float around in there as we wait for help. :)

Rain Rain Go Away

Normally I enjoy the rain but this week has been ridiculous! The roof started leaking in our garage, which is also our home office... we frantically moved all of our computer equipment and our landlord put a huge blue tarp on our roof. It looks silly but so far it has improved the leaking. I am not looking forward to construction workers being here while they install a new roof. The power went out yesterday morning which was frustrating but it was only for a few hours. Today we had to take Carter to the eye doctor and it seemed to pour buckets of rain as soon as we had to leave! I know we are lucky to live in Orange County where the weather is always amazing but this week hasn't just been your typically winter rain... it is stormy and windy and everywhere is flooded. I want the sun back!
Carter is thriving at home--he is gaining on average about an ounce a day! He is such a good baby but my only complaint is he still has his days and nights mixed up! He will wake up at 2 AM all bright eyed with a big smile that seems to say, "I'm ready to play!" And of course, I can't resist!

Saturday Mornings in Bed

It doesn't get much better than this.

Loving Life

Not much to say (especially since I am typing one-handed with Carter in my arms) except we are loving every second we have with Carter. He is so precious. Here are some cute pics from this week:

Here is Carter in a cute outfit from his Auntie Torrey:

This picture is with his new sheep that came in the mail from Auntie Sona:

We Survived!

Our first night at home with Carter was a success... although I only received 2 hours of sleep. He is a really good baby but he learned quickly that if he cries I will hold him. So he sleeps very soundly as long as he is in our arms or next to us in bed. As soon as I put him in his bed, he gets cranky. I think he has learned that he is king of this house. He claimed our bed as soon as he got home:

Here are some pics of us as we prepared to leave the NICU. I can't believe he spent 54 days there. The nurses and doctors are so amazing... they took such good care of him and I know that he was loved and cuddled with when we were not able to be there.

And finally, here is proof that he will sleep in his bed at times. (Usually when we are wide awake!) Isn't the sheet adorable? It was made for him by his Aunt Jackie.

For now, that's all I have to say. I've got to go spend time with my boy!

Grayson

We stopped by the cemetery on the way to pick up Carter yesterday. Grayson's marker had finally arrived and it looks beautiful... just like our little boy.

Happy Anniversary

Yesterday was our 4-year wedding anniversary. It was also the last night we would have to spend without Carter at home! We went to Disneyland for a few hours, rode some rides, ate a frozen banana... but the best part about it was just being together. I truly believe that marriage can be the foundation of a family and I am certain that our family... despite all that we have recently been through... is off to a solid start because of the love we have for each other. I could not endure any of life's trials without Dave by my side. He is supportive, loving, and absolutely amazing. He reminds me to calm down when I am stressed out and uptight and is able to make me laugh and lift my spirits even when I am feeling as though I could never smile again. So Happy Anniversary to my dear husband... and for anyone else reading this post: I wish you the same love and happiness for 2010. Maybe this will be a year for all hearts to mend.

El Toro Memorial Park

For those of you who don't know, Grayson's final resting place is at the El Toro Memorial Park. He is with all the other children who have passed away, which is comforting to me. Jesse took a beautiful picture of it:

Happy New Year

2009 was a bittersweet year for us as a family. We endured many obstacles with this pregnancy, but were blessed to have two beautiful twin boys. Losing Grayson was the hardest thing I have ever endured and my heart still aches every day. I know that people say it will get easier with time, but I still find that hard to believe. The only thing that eases the pain is being with Dave and our little Carter.

Carter seemed to realize that 2010 was a new year and decided he wanted to come home. We were not expecting him to be ready until the end of January/beginning of February, especially considering his due date is February 7th. But, he seems to be determined. Our little boy will be home, in our arms forever, this Saturday, January 9th! He is 4 and a half pounds, loves his bottles, and is breathing on his own with no spells. He will have spent 54 days in the NICU. The nurses have him right next to their station and they said they call him "Mayor of the NICU." They will be sad to have him leave. He is such a good baby--he never cries (Just grunts and groans--a result of which is a hernia! One more thing to worry about!)

This week is very busy! He gets circumsized this morning (poor guy!) and has his eye exam tomorrow. He also has to pass his car seat test. Dave and I are spending Friday night with him in the hospital as a trial run and if all goes well, we will just take him home with us Saturday morning. I feel like we are ready... at least as best as we can be. Here are some cute pics from the past month or so.

Grayson Hunter Hill: In Our Hearts Forever

Dear Grayson,

We never really knew the true depths of love until we found out that we were pregnant. We loved you from the moment we saw you on the ultrasound and were overcome with joy when we found out we were having twins, two boys. You were so active in your mother’s belly. We thought that you might become an Olympic gymnast with the amount of twists and flips you were able to pull off. Carter was much calmer and liked to cuddle with you, his beloved brother. We loved you when we first saw your sweet face on your birthday—November 17th. There was no question that you were destined to be named Grayson Hunter. You have brought nothing but pure joy into our lives and into our hearts and we will cherish and love you for the rest of our days.

Even though you only had 27 days of life on Earth, you will be a part of our family forever. We will never forget you. Every time we close our eyes, we can still see your precious face. Every day we will remember you as Hans, “Baby B”, our second child, and Carter’s younger brother. Despite being born 12 weeks early, you showed us that you were a strong, determined, and brave little boy. You always made us smile with your grumpy face. We loved to hold you and rub your back. You loved to hold our fingers with your tiny hand, an act your father cherished most, as your grip was so strong and life affirming.

Sunday, December 13th was a tragedy for our family. We chose to have your last moments of life to be spent in our arms. We hope that this brought you comfort in some way. We held you tight and rocked you and kissed your head. We hope that this eased your pain and brought peace into your heart when you departed.

As your parents, our hearts are broken that you had to leave us so soon. We are at a loss for any explanation as to why you couldn’t stay. We feel cheated out of the life that we were anticipating for us as a family. Despite all of our grief and sorrow, please know that you will never be forgotten or replaced. You will always be our son and Carter will always be reminded of his special twin brother. We know that the two of you will be connected forever. We promise to try our best to remain strong and brave for Carter. We know that he deserves to have a strong family to help him grow and develop through his life. We promise to focus on all of our happy memories with you. In your short life, you have given us enough love and happiness to fill our hearts for a lifetime and to help our family feel complete.

Please rest in peace knowing that you were such a special little boy. You were loved by so many people who never even met you. You will live in our family’s hearts forever.

We are honored to be your parents.

Love,

Mom and Dad